Think It’s Just About Sex? Think Again, Buddy!
,How many times has it been said in the relationship from one party, “I need more affection!”. As humans, the immediate thought is, “Okay, what more would you like me to do in bed?”. Well, scrap that thought! Maybe not fully, but at least a little. Think about it. Someone who has all their physical intimacy needs met still suggest they are not happy. Why is that? Probably because they need more from their mate. More?! Yes, absolutely! More OUTSIDE the bedroom. If this is you, can I get a “HECK YEAH!”? Intimacy is a close personal connection with someone you love, so if you think sex is enough to meet all the needs of your partner, you are sadly mistaking. This is especially a sad mistake if you have a marriage without intimacy.
How much more could they want? Maybe a little, maybe a lot. One thing is for sure, intimacy is not as complicated as some may think. People are creatures of habit and habit shows people are always going to be vocal about their needs. People will always converse and communicate their expectations. Some do it better than others; nevertheless, you can absolutely count on it happening. Here are three take-away questions. How is the individual communicating? How is the other person receiving what they hear? What is done afterwards?
What’s the Secret?
The secret? The secret is….THAT THERE IS NO SECRET. I know, spoiler. Getting what you want and providing your partner what they need is just a 2-step process. Get your pen and paper, write this down.
Step 1: Communicate Your Needs
Depending on who is in need of intimacy, they should be sure to express their needs. The communication needs to be clear and concise to avoid the message from being misinterpreted. There is no room for misinterpretation when it comes to intimacy and your needs. Not only should the message be clear and concise, but the feelings of the partner must be considered. Going into the conversation like a tornado or category 5 hurricane will prevent the message from being received and getting needs met. Give the message in the same manner you would want the message given to you. That sounds familiar; do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Pretty clear!
Step 2: Affirm What You Hear
Affirm, yes, affirm! Basically, take what you hear and act on it. Plain and simple! Your partner says they need you to watch more movies with them to feel connected with you, then do it. Watch more movies with your partner. Ask them what days they want to watch movies and make it happen. Your partner says they need more physical touch from you, then become intentional and give them two kisses every day. Your partner says they need more sex, then, okay, get it done. Put it on your schedule! Get it? Yes, affirm, get it done!
You want more intimacy? Want to give more intimacy? Change your mindset. Intimacy is not always about giving or receiving physical intimacy; sex, if you will. Humans require so much more to feel needed and wanted. If you are in need of intimacy with your partner, express your message clearly and concisely to your partner. If your partner suggest they need more intimacy from you, ask them what they need and tell them to be specific so you don’t misinterpret the message causing everybody to lose. The goal is to have everybody win by getting their needs met. Lastly, receive the message then act on it. It’s one thing to say,”I hear you”. It’s a totally different ball game when you put action behind what you hear. Don’t become a false giver of hope. When you use this 2-step system, you are sure to increase intimacy in your relationship. Satisfaction guaranteed!